End

Morning started out with my 5:15 alarm - which was quickly snoozed for 15 minutes. 

Up and out for a walk with Sophie and then weight lifting. First morning of my training program - focused on upper body. I figure with my biking and running - my lower body gets plenty of workout time - but not so much for the arms, chest and shoulders!

I really notice that my upper body is weak during Pilates, when holding stretches and poses for very long my arms get really tired.  Some of that is probably attributed to the arm lymphedema as a result of my mastectomy. When they take the breast tissue for a mastectomy, they also take lymph nodes and many times there are not enough left to handle the lymph fluids in you body. As a result, my right arm does not drain the fluids and is larger than my left arm. 

Coffee on the patio - but no breakfast. I was running a little late this morning and planned to bike to work - so I needed to cut something out of the morning routine.  Breakfast - lost.  Making my salad for lunch - won. I did take some cherries to work and munched on those for my breakfast. The two Sandhill cranes are still hanging out at the park.

I wonder when they will head south?

Signs of Autumn - On our walk, I noticed a lone tree across the lake that is yellow. 

Then as we came around the corner, just down the street from my house, I happened upon another tree changing colors. 

As I gaze down the street at the trees lining the road, they all look tired and ready to change color and drop their leaves - as if the leaves are too heavy.  Is the pressure of staying green too hard on them?  

Rest of the day was work - simple work.

Enjoy the moments!

Prosthesis

Inquiring minds want to know about my breast prosthesis.  

First a little background.

As a result of breast cancer I had a right side mastectomy without reconstruction. My cancer was fast growing and aggressive - I had my routine mammogram in May 2004 with no problems identified and was diagnosed in Sept 2004. My Oncologist wanted to start me on chemo asap to hopefully reduce the tumor size, then schedule surgery and then get me back on chemo.  

As a result of this there was no time for reconstructive surgery.  It would have meant a much longer recovery period - and getting back on chemo, (such a wonderful thing to look forward to) was my number 1 goal.  

At the time - I didn't worry or think much about reconstruction - my goal was to live.  

After being inundated with scans, Oncology appointments, blood draws, radiation appointments, chemo treatments and everything that goes with treatments - - I was done thinking about cancer.  

But eventually I decided that I would look at reconstruction alternatives.  There are two main types of reconstruction available - 1) implant with saline, or silicone or a combo of both or 2) autologous reconstruction (tissue transplanted from another part of your body (such as your belly, thigh, or back)).  

Since I had radiation, option #1 was not available. As a result of being blasted by subatomic particles for weeks on end -  the skin on my chest wall is very thin and non-elastic.  Surgeons won't generally perform implant surgery because the chances of failure are too great.   Option #2 involves removing skin, fat and sometimes muscle from somewhere else on your body and either reattaching it or literally tunneling it under your skin to form a mound to create a breast.

I have talked to several different surgeons and they agree that option #2 is the only option for me.  I have never walked out of their offices thinking - "I want to do that!"  I don't place enough importance on a breast to justify taking muscle, skin and fat from somewhere else to try and rebuild a fake breast. I have given cancer enough time and attention!  I am fine with my single breast and will wear a prosthesis.

So what does a prosthesis look like and how does it stay in place?

I have several different versions.  Of course I have a favorite and here it is.  

This is my go to breast form.  It is a little smaller than some of my others and works great for both everyday bras and sports bras.  All my everyday bras are mastectomy bras,  they contain a pocket within the cup to insert the breast form into.  

For running and biking I just slide the breast form inside a sports bras.  I use regular sports bras since they are pretty snug. I have never had any irritation or sliding in a sports bra. 

I also have a simple form that is great for sleeping and some bras.  

This one is very light and is easy to wear - it adjusts to the cup/pocket.  

I don't normally wear a bra to bed - but if others are present - sleep overs, or in a hotel - I usually will sleep in a light bra and use this form.  

Two funny stories about breast forms.  

I was on vacation with a group of women where we rented a condo.  I had taken a shower and set this light form on the side of the tub. One of the women came out of the shower later and mentioned the weird shower pouf / loofah. She was complaining that it wasn't very good - there was no exfoliating material.   I laughed so hard and finally told her that it was not a shower pouf - but my breast form!  

The other funny story involved yoga. For some reason I had worn a regular bra to work that day, I think I needed a black bra and didn't have a mastectomy version in black.  I had simply set the form in the bra cup - it seemed to work fine at work.  Well, I went to yoga after work and while in downward dog position - it fell out!  I quickly picked it up and slide it back in my bra - hoping that no one had seen it!  I had problems with it the entire class.  Lesson learned - always wear a mastectomy bra to yoga!  

Peace and Enjoy the moments!

First time

Do you ever get that feeling that you forgot something?

I got up this morning and took Sophie for a run.  About 2 blocks away from our house, I realized that something felt different.  A couple of days ago I got stung two times by bees.  Once in the morning while out running in my nose and in the afternoon while biking one flew down my shirt and stung me on the chest.  This morning there was something different about the way the bee sting on my chest felt. It was being gently rubbed / scratched while I ran!  This led me to realize that I had forgotten to put in my breast prosthesis.  Never have I forgotten to put in my prosthesis in the nine years that I have had a mastectomy.  So then the decision was - do I turn around and go back home or proceed.  I figured - what the hell and proceeded.  I ran into 3 people and honestly I am sure they were NOT looking at my lopsided chest!  And if they were, it probably provided them with something interesting to think about on their run!

So here is a pic of me without my prosthesis in - not very obvious - it probably helped that I was wearing black this morning.

Sometimes it is the little things in life!

At the start of the year I made a commitment to myself that I was not going to buy any clothing for the year. I really don't need any. Although I have not yet found time to clean out my closet, I have counted my hangers and there are more than 200 hangers and that does not count jeans and other clothes that are in drawers or shelves in the closet, or summer items not yet pulled out of storage. So I definitely have enough clothes. And so far I have not purchased anything. I will allow myself to purchase running shoes, underwear and bra's as needed.

I recently purchased new running shoes and before I went to New York, I ordered 3 new "regular" bra's and 1 new sports bra and they all arrived while I was gone. Just like a kid - it is always exciting to see packages when you arrive home. This is the first time I have ordered "regular" bra's on-line - well not "regular" for most people, but "regular" for me. Since I have had a mastectomy I wear a prosthesis on the right side and to hold it in place, I wear bra's with special pockets for the prosthesis. I have tried to purchase regular bra's and simply insert it into the cup - but it doesn't offer 100% assurance that it won't move or shift or worse case . . . fall out, like the time I went to a yoga class immediately after work and I was wearing the wrong type of bra. During about the 100th down dog - out it slipped. I simply picked it up and stuffed it back into my bra, laughing to myself the whole time. 

I have now worn two of the "regular" bras and love them both. I also ordered a sports bra and love that also. I ordered the Moving Comfort Juno sports bra and wore it this morning. Yup it is a keeper.


Sometimes it is the little things - Yahoo to new bra's!

Peace